I couldn’t bring myself to start writing the next post for a long time. There were many reasons for this. One of them was that when I started to describe a situation I wanted to convey, I often thought, “Why are you complaining? The guys in the trenches have it much worse.” And that’s absolutely true. So, to free myself from this, I want to say right away — don’t compare what I’m describing to you with the trenches, they are not comparable things, it’s like comparing mild sunburn to a fourth-degree burn.
Also, I apologize in advance for the possibly chaotic presentation of events. In this article, I want to share something in the style of “how are things going,” and it’s hard for me to come up with a clear scenario. I just want to share some things that are on my mind.
I wanted to share a feeling that is new to me. I already touched on this topic a little in one of my previous articles. It is a strange and shocking feeling of irreversibility — “there is no turning back.” Well, the truth is, in my life, it seems that every situation had the opportunity to be avoided. I got used to this condition, I would even say option in life.
Let’s start with childhood. I don’t remember myself in kindergarten, so let’s talk about school. If I felt bad, I had the opportunity to leave the classroom. I had the opportunity to go home if I didn’t like something during a walk outside. As a child, I often went to pioneer camps. There were times when it was difficult for you in this group. But 🙂 Even in such a situation, I saw cases when a boy cried a lot, and his parents came and took him away. No, it wasn’t me, don’t think so 🙂 That is, I saw that there was a way out in this situation.
In my youth, I could have dropped out of the school I was attending. Of course, such an act would have had negative consequences, but it was possible. You can quit the job you got.
Well, everyone already understands where I’m going with this 🙂 Yes, you’re right. You can’t leave the army, or rather, you can’t leave the war. It’s like a game where you can’t restart. Moreover, in a sense, you can’t press pause or hide in some safe place where you will definitely not be touched. Sometimes this understanding of this harsh reality leads you into something like panic fear. Mmm… well, you know, you’re stuck in an elevator, the elevator starts to fall, you realize that you really want to get out of it, but you can’t. That’s probably what it’s like 🙂
Yes, you have to learn to accept this reality and live with it. Live so that it doesn’t weigh you down and exhaust you. That is, perhaps the pinnacle of achievement, so to speak, nirvana, is acceptance, simply accepting this situation, accepting this life, surrendering yourself to the waves of a violent hurricane, and still being able to enjoy the sky while lying in your little boat. I can’t say that I’ve been able to do this, but I’m on my way. When I can, I’ll be sure to tell you 🙂
But I’ve already started to find life hacks for how to be in such a situation. You definitely need an oasis. At least somewhere, even if it’s small. There should be a place where these monsters can’t get to you. A place where they can’t get to you. I’m a gamer, so I associate this with that cozy place where you can relax and buy inventory. For example, Viktor Frankl created such a place right inside his soul. It’s a part of your soul, something secret, something you can only share with close people. Your home and your family can be such an oasis. My wife periodically sends me photos. Photos from home, from the place where you are loved and awaited. This oasis is, to some extent, your support. Something that stands behind you and keeps you from falling.
A dream can also be such an oasis. A dream of something warm that warms your soul. For example, a dream of peace and tranquility. And it is desirable that you have something that will remind you of it. I have heard many stories about people hanging photos of cool cars or houses there. You have probably heard something like that too. I don’t know, for some reason it doesn’t work for me 🙂 Maybe you have a good experience. But it can even be a video clip. For example, about six months ago, I came across a clip. Just an ordinary clip. Here’s a link to it, by the way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3Cy4XTuL20&list=RDe3Cy4XTuL20&start_radio=1. When I watched and listened to this clip, it was like being in a stuffy room and suddenly feeling a rush of fresh air. I remember when I first saw it, I was struck by this taste of freedom—these people are calm, they can calmly express themselves, dance, be creative, and show themselves. They don’t know what war, fear, anxiety, or air raid sirens are. I watch this video and dream that someday my life and my family will be like this. The people there are dancing and enjoying the process. It’s so wonderful when a person expresses themselves in this way, blossoming like a flower. And there is nothing to scare them, there are no people around who want to kill them, there are no comings and goings.
When the war ends, I would really like to do something creative, or something similar. When you express yourself and bring joy to those around you, you reveal and realize yourself. I believe that people, like flowers, were created to bring joy to those around them. It’s so wonderful when you have a life in which you can freely express yourself, do something good, something good for those around you and those close to you. We must do everything we can to bring about such a world as soon as possible.
Yes, only now have I been able to truly feel and realize the value of peace. Perhaps one of the most sacred things is to do everything you can to bring about peace. A peace in which people can live peacefully and blossom like flowers.
Share
