I haven’t written in a long time… Some days I didn’t have time, other days I didn’t have the strength. There was a time when I didn’t want to keep writing this blog at all, and I’ll explain why below. But the realization that there are people close to me who love me and read this blog, who really care about me, and that there are quite a few people who are simply interested in reading this blog, gave me the determination to continue writing.
I wouldn’t say that there is nothing to write about. From time to time, there are moments or observations that could be shared. It’s just that, initially, one of the key reasons I started writing this blog was to dispel various myths and show that things aren’t so bad here in the Armed Forces of Ukraine. On the other hand, I am a straightforward person and I love honesty. I can’t stand hypocrisy and lies. I want to write everything as it is, as it really is. Just sometimes look at it from a more positive angle.
That’s right, truth and positivity. The only problem is that there are times when you just can’t combine these two things—truth and positivity. Sometimes the truth is such that it’s very difficult to find anything positive in it. And then you have to either embellish the truth a little to make it look more positive, or write the truth and sacrifice the positive 🙂 But! Thinking about all this, I found a way out — sometimes, positivity can be replaced with hope. And then you can keep the truth, but leave the hope that everything can be changed.
I understand that there may be different places with clerical positions where everything is simpler. But here, where I ended up (in the military), it is quite difficult, I would even say stressful and tense. To understand the situation, I will cite a simple fact: a person who worked in one of the key areas is now being fired because she has already developed a mild nervous disorder. Let’s call her Francesca in my blog (of course, this is not her real name or nickname). And the person who worked before Francesca literally ended up in a mental hospital.
Why is this important? One day, during lunch, I asked Francesca why she didn’t want to work here and was quitting. She used a swear word, and I’m trying to figure out how to translate it into literary language. She said—disorder and chaos on the one hand, and great responsibility on the other.
Yes, Francesca was right, these two things — chaos/disorder and at the same time responsibility — create a mixture that simply wears you down morally.
Let me try to immerse you in this atmosphere by sharing one of my real experiences. Have you ever been in a very noisy office? Or in a call center where there is noise, where everyone is doing something, talking to someone, getting nervous, swearing, people are running down the hallway, and there are long lines at some desks. So you’re in a place like that. Your boss calls you and almost yells at you to do a certain task. You’re new and don’t know how to do it. You go to the person who knows how to do it. As you approach her desk, you can already see that she is tense and working at a fast pace. You turn to them, and without even looking up from their work, they say, “I’m working on something very important and urgent right now, come back in an hour.” You go off to do other things until the hour is up. Half an hour later, your boss calls and asks indignantly why the task has not been completed yet. You try to explain the situation, but he shouts that the task must be completed now, no matter what. You go to that person and tell her more forcefully that you need her to show you how to do the task. In response, you hear this person swear and almost shout, “Don’t bother me, anyone. I need another half hour.” I don’t know what to do in such a situation. Perhaps the only possible solution is to take a live round, load the AK that is in the office, and ask this person even more insistently to help you 🙂 If anyone knows of other solutions, please write them in the comments.
There are quite a few similar cases, I won’t describe them all. Especially at the beginning of this month, it was a very difficult period. At the end of one day, I put my hands in front of me and saw that they were shaking.
But, I hasten to reassure readers. It’s not always this chaotic and stressful here. Yes, it was a difficult period for about 1-2 weeks. Of course, on other days it’s not completely chill, it’s similar, but not as stressful.
Another thing that is unusual for a “normal” (well, like me) person is the lack of weekends. Yes, there simply aren’t any here. Moreover, when I asked one of my comrades about weekends, I received an epic response: “In the army, there are no days, in the army there are dates.” That is, in the army there are no Saturdays or Sundays, that is, there are no days off. In the army, there are dates by which tasks must be completed :).
Well, to add a little positivity to all this, or rather, to add at least a little hope, I will share another interesting experience.
I needed to prepare and send an important DSK document. DSK stands for “for official use only,” meaning it is a document with a certain level of secrecy that can only be used within the Armed Forces of Ukraine. It had to be sent through a special channel. It was my first time doing this, so another experienced person, let’s call him Vadim, helped me. I should clarify that he didn’t help me, but did almost everything himself, while I just watched closely and took notes. And so we did everything, and I took the document to the boss for his signature. The boss was almost in shock and asked why it took us so long, told us to correct something, and said that it needed to be done very quickly. I went to Vadim and told him what the boss had said. I sincerely shared with Vadim that I didn’t understand how it was possible to do something quickly and with high quality (i.e., without mistakes) at the same time. I shared that it is generally believed that speed and quality are almost incompatible. You can only do something quickly and with high quality when you have a lot of experience, and I definitely don’t have that.
Vadim gave an interesting answer. He remained calm, didn’t get nervous, and did what was necessary. He worked at a moderate pace, not super fast, but not slow either. And while doing this, he said, “See how quickly and efficiently I do everything? You need to do the same,” and then added, “For example, you were told to quickly deliver a package to another building, and now you’re running quickly, running through the smoking room.” That’s Vadim’s wisdom for life :).
That is, I understood that you need to be wise and find the right, philosophical attitude to everything that happens in this wonderful place called the army :).
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